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January 10, 2012 / Political Fluency

The New Year Wit & Wisdom of G-Eminem

Gary is a big Packers fan so he wanted to make sure everyone saw this picture of Justin Tuck winning the invisible Women’s Title Belt that Aaron Rodgers wears.

By “he wanted” I mean “I wanted.”

BIG BLUE WRECKING CREW!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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In my day, Pabst Blue Ribbon was a working man’s beer. Now it’s the choice of d-bag frat boys you want to punch in the #vajayjay.

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With Sen. Sanitarium rousing the rabble, there has never been a more appropriate time to snag some cool liberty gear from my pal Dan McCall‘s outfit, Liberty Maniacs. Act now while it’s still legal!

George Orwell Poster from Zazzle.com

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It’s about time this nation had a candidate ready to finally confront the burgeoning bestiality menace. #Santorum

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If you watch this, and still have any sort of affinity toward Senator Santorum, you and I would do well to part company as quickly and amicably as possible.

(H/T: Dan Otten)

Santorum: pursuit of happiness harms America

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“…this idea that people should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do, government should keep our taxes down and keep our regulations low, that we shouldn’t get involved in the bedroom, we shouldn’t get involved in cultural issues. That is not how traditional conservatives view the world. There is no such society that I am aware of where we’ve had radical individualism that succeeds as a culture.” ~Rick Santorum.

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Rise.

Meet the Chimp That Learned to Build Fires After Watching TV

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It’s fitting that #Newt and #Santorum have crafted a “Nonaggression Pact”. Their totalitarian tendencies complete the historical analogy.

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Weird. Property taxes in Wisconsin are flat this year. There must have been something that happened in the Badger State recently that allowed for the lowest level of property tax increases in several years. What could it be?

Expert: WI’s budget repair begets flat property taxes

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In Seinfeld parlance, Rick #Santorum is “sponge-worthy”.

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What’s more disquieting: that some folks think #Santorum is a viable general election candidate or that they know he isn’t and don’t care?

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Bless the little yellow hands that painstakingly crafted my new trunk-style Adidas underwear in their windowless basement shop. #comfy

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You know how Hugh Hefner always has a new, beautiful, young blonde on his arm? I’m like that, but with a Chipotle burrito.

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In the coming post-$ economy, fake boobs will be replaced by the ability to identify edible roots and tubers as mating criteria of choice.

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Is ABC still having that open audition for Romney Cabinet positions tonight? #NHdebate

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If President Romney defers to Paul on constitutional questions during his term like he has during the debates, we just might have a deal.

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The world economy hit the iceberg in 2008. The folks in steerage are already drowning. The wealthy, cocktail in hand, have moved to the forward Promenade deck to listen to the band and reassure themselves that everything is going to be okay.

Meanwhile, a flood of worthless paper money is pouring into the forward hold and boiler room.

But don’t worry, there is ample room in the lifeboats.

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Ben Roethlisberger, thou shalt not put The Lord Thy God to the test.

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Wow. The Pats get a second-round bye too.

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Are you there, God? It’s me, Tom Brady.

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End of Days Fun Fact: 1 in 7 Britons is paying their mortgage or rent via payday loans.

It’s all going to be okay.

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Tebow threw for 316 yards. John 3:16. Don’t you get it? Jesus is speaking to us through passing stats! Jesus is magic!

(I’ve seriously seen this kind of stuff in my Twitter feed)

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I have to believe that Tim Tebow fans and American Stuffers watchers share eerily similar demographics.

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I wish Scott Pelley would give the same scrutiny to the central bankers who are killing millions via worthless paper as he is to this d-bag doctor peddling a bogus stem cell therapy.

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I’m not sure how Newt Gingrich was passed over for the King Henry VIII role that ultimately went to Jonathan Rhys Meyers in ‘The Tudors’. I mean, who can get rid of a wife, launch a war and eat a dozen quail eggs – all before 9AM – as deftly as Newt?

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38% of Americans age 18-24 are most worried about higher taxes while only 28% are most concerned about Obama’s reelection. Regrattably, they are unaware that these are the same thing.

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They’re real and they’re spectacular.

Club for Growth: Ron Paul’s Economic Plan “Spectacular” | Ron Paul 2012 Presidential Campaign Commit

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