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December 4, 2011 / Political Fluency

The Weekly Wit & Wisdom of G-Eminem

I share the enthusiasm of my brethren for the retirement of Barney Frank, author of — among other legislative monstrosities — Dodd-Frank, a law that has helped exacerbate our current economic straits.

But I wouldn’t celebrate too much. Barney Frank is in a better position than any of us to know about the economic maelstrom that is about to make landfall next year. He is smart to take his pension and get out of town.

Embrace the doom.

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 I voted for this guy.

There is no water hot enough to wash away the stain on my soul.

Sen. John McCain wants to allow U.S. citizens to be arrested, held indefinitely

Last week, John McCain introduced a bill into the U.S. Senate which, if passed, would actually allow U.S. citizens to be arrested and detained indefinitely

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Team Romney unleases GQ’s “least influential man alive”, Tim Pawlenty, who comes up with this barn-burner in this morning’s conference call: “Barack Obama is the Barney Fife of presidents.”

It is a crime against humanity this man was denied the nomination.

Comment –  Cut to commercial, where Pawlenty and a group of Midwestern white guys are enjoying an MGD Light and talking in vague terms about how the short Summer affected fall hog prices. Pawlenty is the least interesting man in the universe. Stay thirsty my friends.

Political Fluency – So shouldn’t he be drinking an O’Doul’s?

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QE3*

Dealers See Fed Buying $545B Mortgage Bonds

The biggest bond dealers in the U.S. say the Federal Reserve is poised to start a new round of stimulus, injecting more money into the economy by purchasing mortgage securities instead of Treasuries.

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The problem, of course, is that Germany has never been particularly good at “saving” Europe.

Germany told to act to save Europe – FT.com

Germany is the only country in Europe that can act to save the eurozone and the wider European Union from “a crisis of apocalyptic proportions”, the Polish foreign minister warned on Monday in a passionate call for more drastic action to prevent the

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G-Eminem finds it ironic that the chief political beneficiary of Herman Cain’s imminent departure from the race because of adultery will be Newt Gingrich. #ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay

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The Viking Stadium hearing have proven useful in reminding us of a few eternal verities. First, greed and avarice still remain firmly enmeshed in the human soul. Second, we like to pretend we eschew theft in our moral/religious frameworks, but few of us are above using the coercive power of government to do the dirty deed for us. Third, while we like to say we believe in the consent of the governed, there abides a longstanding bi-partisan elite who coalesce to force things upon the majority “for their own good.”

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One of the only new year’s resolutions to which I have ever been able to adhere was this year’s pledge to unsubscribe from nearly every opt-in email list to which I have ever subscribed. This includes solicitations and daily digests even from organizations and individuals with whom I wholeheartedly agree. I can’t tell you how much time this has saved me.

Best of all, it has provided much more time for the important things in life — like writing new Farmville status updates. FWIW

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Paul Rudd plays a poor man’s Big Lebowski in this surprisingly sweet dramedy with lots of star power.

Gary rated Our Idiot Brother 3.5 stars

Every family has one: the sibling who is always just a little bit behind the curve when it comes to getting his life together. For sisters Liz (Emily…

RATED: R

CAST: Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer

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Newt Gingrich: King Corn’s dirty, painted whore

Corn growers rate presidential candidates; Gingrich gets top marks

Newt Gingrich earned straight A’s on agriculture, energy, trade and other policies measured by the Iowa Corn Growers Association.

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Science has now conclusively proven that Aaron Rodgers can’t be stopped.

Don’t be a Luddite.

Sport Science: Aaron Rodgers – ESPN Video – ESPN

ESPN Video: ESPN Sport Science examines Aaron Rodgers ability to make accurate passes

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“The homeland is part of the battlefield and people can be held without trial whether an American citizen or not.” ~Senator Lindsey Graham, (Fascist-SC)

Comment – It sounds much better in the original German.

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A second virulently anti-American, pro-Islamist regime in Northern Africa is established in just the last few months.

Another triumph of American interventionism.

Early Results in Egypt Show a Mandate for Islamists

Winning a dominant majority in Egypt’s first Parliament since the ouster of Hosni Mubarak would be the religious movement’s most significant step since the start of the Arab Spring.

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I just got an unsolicited email from the chief of staff of some Republican congressman from Ohio’s 4th CD. Who are these clowns, why do they traffic in my email address and why do they think their daily digest is worth even the 2 seconds it takes me to put them in my spam filter?

Jeebus.

Political Fluency – Dear Gary,

HAVING CONSULTTED WITH THE REPUBLIICAN CONGRESSMAN FROM OHIO’S 4TH CONGRESIONAL DISTRICT AND BASED ON THE INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THE REPUBLICAN CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDSTRY, I HAVE THE PRIVILEGE TO REQUEST FOR YOUR ASISTANCE TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF $47,500,000.00 (FORTY SEVEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATS DOLLARS) INTO YOUR ACCOUNTS.

WE ARE NOW READY TO TRANSFER THE FUND ACROSS STATE LINES AND THAT IS WHERE YOU COME IN. IT IS IMPORTANT TO INFORM YOU THAT AS CIVIL SERVANTS, WE ARE FORBIDEN TO OPERATE A PRIVATE ACCOUNT; THAT IS WHY WE REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANSE. THE TOTAL SUM WILL BE SHARED AS FOLLOWS: 70% FOR US, 25% FOR YOU AND 5% FOR LOCAL AND FEDERAL EXPENSES INCIDENT TO THE TRANSFER.
IF YOU FIND THIS PROPOSAL ACCEPTABLE, WE SHALL REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS:

(A) YOUR BANKER’S NAME, TELEPHONE, ACOUNT AND FAX NUMBERS.

(B) YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS — FOR CONFIDETIALITY AND EASY COMUNICATION.

(C) YOUR LETTER-HEADED PAPER STAMPED AND SIGNED.

PLEASE REPLY URGENTLY.

BEST REGARDS

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G-Eminem is often invited to cocktail parties so that guests have something to stare at and whisper about in hushed tones as they shift uncomfortably from leg to leg, trying not to meet my unblinking gaze.

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Several Classical/Austrian economists have predicted that once the Euro collapses, it will be a matter of weeks before the Dollar follows suit. I am hoping we have a bit more time as the world flees to the last of the once-mighty fiat currencies.

Regardless, it is time to mash the panic button.

‘Prepare for armageddon’

BRITAIN’S banks have been told to prepare for the end of the Eurozone, it emerged today

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This movie will make you all weepy and stuff.

Gary rated Beginners 4.0 stars

Beginners imaginatively explores the hilarity, confusion, and surprises of love through the evolving consciousness of Oliver (Ewan McGregor). Oliver…

RATED: R

CAST: Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer, Mélanie Laurent, Goran Visnjic

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“The recovery is still fragile, so it’s good there’s not an entire continent whose currency might collapse or anything like that.” ~Nate Silver

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Last month 278,000 jobs were gained, but 315,000 Americans left the work force. If we can crush the hopes and aspirations of another 25 million Americans and get them to give up on ever again finding gainful employment, we can get the unemployment rate near back to historical post-WW II levels.

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Romney declines Gingrich’s invitation to debate which one of them was the first proponent of an individual mandate for health insurance and which one of them advocated the most invasive measures against anthropogenic global warming.

RealClearPolitics – Romney Declines Lincoln-Douglas Debate Against Gingrich

With the Republican presidential primary appearing to have narrowed into a two-man contest, Human Events and Red State moved quickly to lock down a date for a Lincoln-Douglas-style debate between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich.

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“The injection of additional dollar liquidity which the Fed will undertake through its currency swaps with the ECB could potentially involve a very large increase in the Fed’s balance sheet…”

Fed bazooka aimed at the eurozone

The announcement of co-ordinated central bank action to boost foreign exchange swap lines on Wednesday has boosted market sentiment. The central banks have become extremely alarmed about the deterioration in the funding market for eurozone banks, and the consequent deleveraging of bank balance sheet…

Comment – The problem is that the Euro banks are scrambling for Euros not dollars.

Comment – Swapping Euros for Dollars is kind of like swapping Chuck E Cheese tokens for Aladdin’s Castle tokens.

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Fast-growing demographic.

As Cain Drops Out, Pro-adultery Voters Shift to Gingrich « Borowitz Report

CONCORD, NH (The Borowitz Report) – Herman Cain withdrew from the Republican presidential race today, a move that resulted in millions of pro-adultery voters shifting their support to former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

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*Quantitative Easing – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTUY16CkS-k 

 

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